Mar 20, 2012 at 3:25pm

Any decent person feels better knowing that he or she walked out of a relationship, giving his utmost best. Being in a relationship, maintaining a relationship and leaving a relationship is not easy, at all.

For some of us working to keep a relationship is like plastering wallpaper that just won’t stick. We keep going at it till we tear all our hair out.

We all know sometimes it isn’t healthy to stay with someone who doesn’t make you happy; but who can blame us? No one wants to leave unsure whether things could get better and in that light, it is quite difficult turn around and walk away.

But why is it so hard to walk out of a bad relationship? Is it so difficult to spot what exactly is going wrong? Is it fear of being alone? Or whether is because you feel things can better?
Please, please, gentlemen and ladies there are certain basics that cuts across, certain signs that should let you KNOW, that girl, you’ve got to go.
So how do you know when it is your cue to leave?

Verbally abusive- we all get angry, no, livid sometimes, so much so that we say IRREPARABLE things that hurt the heart and break the soul. Sometimes it takes a day or a year to get over it; we eventually do. But when those IRREPARABLE things become a constant, it is certainly time to go. No one should be with have to be with someone will put you down.

Sometimes it may not even be insults, it is much worse; there are some people who will try to embarrass you in public or in front of friends. I had a friend who had such an abusive nature. He would call her names in front of her friends or his mates.

Men or women who do this usually are aware how vulnerable or in LOVE their partners are with them. Such a relationship won’t change; it would be certainly time to leave.

Compulsive liar – there are some people who are SIMPLY cannot tell you the truth no matter how many times you catch them. Unfortunately sometimes compulsive liars are hard to spot and it may take a while, years perhaps, before you realise you are dealing with one. Why? Because they have lied so much their lies become their truth.

A problem like this is really out of your hands because it didn’t start with you and it CERTAINLY won’t end with you. It’s time to let him go.

Who are you now? - Your partner must be able to impact you positively, not change you, but essentially, assist you in bringing out your best.

If the woman or man in your life subliminally limits you to reaching your goals in, say your career, manipulates your cutting off your family, makes you spend excessively, so much so that you can hardly recognize yourself; things you would not ordinarily do, it only means his presence in your life is more of a curse than a blessing.

No longer feeling good about yourself – He constantly criticises you, nothing you ever do is good enough, ultimately you just ain’t good ENOUGH? Well, that is Enough. He’s got to go.

He or she must LOVE you for YOU. He must be tactful in pointing out your flaws while celebrating your triumphs.

If you get none of these for your partner, you will find yourself recoiling and shrinking into a state of self-pity and self-hate.

you give give and keep giving- it’s not rocket science. Everyone knows that it is a give and take affair when you are in a relationship. so it is NOT normal when one person becomes the emotional, physical, mental and sometimes, sexual caretakers of the other.

Firstly there is only so much a person can give and that situation, that person may begin to resent you for having to play that role. In other words, if you give LOVE and you get NO LOVE back, it’s time to walk.

All in all, when things aren’t going right in a relationship, feelings inevitably change. Suddenly you may not be looking forward to spending time with them, talking to them or even seeing them. it may not dawn on you immediately that you are growing out of love with someone.

You thus must take note these patterns when they start to occur.

When things communication or the emotional connection starts to break down, it needs to be looked at carefully and objectively.

If it can be worked out, that would be great, if you not don’t waste your time denying yourself of the BEST life you can live.



Kwakyewaa Owusu-Nyantakyi/Citifmonline.com