It is probably the most painful kind of love; being in love with someone who belongs to someone else. Not only is he NOT yours but have to accept and see him with the other person.
Indeed loving someone else’s man is an experience no one likes to go through yet we may have all gone though it at some stage in life. It’s a tricky little business particularly because it can go down in different ways.
For some women it really isn’t a problem, most likely because love may not be the primary goal and after all, all’s fair in love and war right? For the rest of us, however, it is much difficult to deal with such issues when you think of the pains of a possible unrequited love as well as the complexities of being the other WOMAN.
Well, just like everything else, a problem of this nature won’t go away unless it is properly dealt with. Dealing with it means having the ability to curb a love situation from turning awry.
First thing to do? Back off. It is probably more difficult and more complicated when he gives you an attitude towards you is a little more than friendly. But the best thing to do is to stop you from emotionally investing in something that seriously backfires.
This is more than just allowing your fellow woman some PEACE in her relationship, it is more of protecting your heart against rejection and the delusion of him loving you back the way you want to. It is best to walk away
It’s always easy to picture how the story is going to end; especially when you are telling it.
In your mind he will leave his woman, eventually come running to you, professing his undying love for you. News Flash: it doesn’t happen that way, dear. To fantasize about him being yours would also mean that you underestimate how strong his relationship is. That is always miscalculation.
Firstly it isn’t always to say goodbye to any relationship no matter how bad it gets. In other words, any man worth his salt will work hard at his relationship before letting it go. In that regard you may serve only as a distraction; something no girl should have to be.
Whether or not, you are falling in love you should refuse to settle for someone who comfortably wants to stay in his relationship while still trying to see how things go with you. It isn’t fair to you as a person and you don’t have to accept that.
A man who means business should be able to settle issues with his woman then deal with you on separate issues.
You must know that when you are in love with someone’s man, not many people are very sympathetic to your plight. Although it is eating you up inside, you should be careful of those you decide to spill your guts to.
If you are close to family, say your mother or a sister, it would be better to speak to them, after all, you will need support from those closest to you.
You should however be cautious who you speak to on such matters.
Think what everyone would say if you do get with him? A man stealer?
Lastly, don’t give in! it is quite difficult to do since for some, sex with him give you the impression he loves you. However that would only muddy the waters even further.
When this happens you realise that emotions are seriously involved and there is no redeeming or turning back for you.
By Kwakyewaa Owusu-Nyantakyi/Citifmonline/Ghana